For Father's Day

I've never been able to find a way to put into words exactly how much I love my dad. I love him simply for who he is and I love him for all that he has done for me.

When I was a kid, testing my blood glucose was often handled by my dad. He was often the one who crawled half asleep from his bed to test me in the middle of the night and the person who sprang to life when I wandered into my parents' room complaining of feeling "wobbley".

For years, I used to get up in the early mornings with my dad who, rose a full half hour before anyone else in the house. He'd be the one who would check my blood sugar before settling me down with something to do. I have vivid memories of him setting up a television in the spare bedroom during the 1988 Olympics. Given that Seoul is several hours ahead of UK time, the sports would be in full swing by 6.30am. I sat and watched equestrian sports with the faint babble of Radio 4's Today programme emanating from the bathroom opposite.

Later, when getting up early was no longer my thing and I was far more likely to ignore the alarm, turn over and pull the duvet over my head, it was always my dad who made sure I got up. Long after I was capable of testing my own blood sugar, he'd still do that first morning test for me, giving me a few extra precious minutes of sleep. My insulin pen would be ready and waiting for me on the breakfast table.

I remember too an occasion when I experienced severe hypoglycaemia at school. My dad, the world's most careful driver, the man who will set the cruise control so he doesn't accidentally exceed the limit in a 30 zone, rushed down the motorway not caring if he got a speeding ticket, just to make sure I was ok.

My dad had dropped everything at work and rushed to be with me  more occasions than I care to count where I've been admitted to hospital, or too ill to cope on my own. He has supported me unconditionally when everything seemed to be gong wrong and it felt like the word was against me. He is never, ever more than a phone call or email away and has never thought twice about sacrificing his own needs for those of his children.

But my relationship with my dad is about far more than just diabetes and illness. He carried me on his shoulders through crowds. He taught me to ride a bike, running behind me, hanging onto the back of the saddle and saying "I won't let go, I won't let go" then moments later "you can do it!" Years later, he sat next to me in my little red mini, and patiently taught me to reverse park. He has shaped me as the person I am. From silly rituals like face pulling and silly sayings, to teaching me right from wrong. From helping me with my tax returns to teaching me how to love.

For years, I've watched my mum and dad as a couple -  a couple who celebrated their 33rd wedding anniversary on Friday - and known exactly what I wanted from a relationship. I blame my dad partly for my long years of being single. My parents' relationship has given me high standards, and it's been hard to find anyone who even comes close to matching up to my dad.

My dad has given me so much, but if he were to go and leave me just one more thing, I'd want his words. He is a brilliant speaker. I'd want from him the words he'd most want to say about me, perhaps the words he would say if I were to get married tomorrow. I'd want to hear those words  to know that I've made my dad proud of me.

And the one thing that I would want to give him back is the realisation that he can only be proud of me because of who he has made me.

Comments

[Christine]

Your dad sounds truly amazing!

[Bernard Farrell]

Caro

What a great dad you have. And happy anniversary to your parents. Thanks for telling us about him.

[Rachel]

What a great examination of the relationship between you and your father. You are lucky to have a good one with your parents!

[Scott K. Johnson]

A great post about your dear dad. You are lucky to have him, and he you.

[Donna]

Hi Caro, I have just found your blog after looking for diabetes blogs. I am going to have a good old read of it but I just wanted to congratulate you on the wonderful words you have written about your dad. Best wishes, Donna

[Donna]

Hi again, I have just started a diabetes blog, inspired by you!, and would be really happy if you took a look.
www.deesdiabetes.blogspot.com
Thanks
Donna

[Lori]

Hi Caro,

I noticed your comment on my blog the other day, but didn't see the link to your blog until the comment you left today. Thanks for reading, you have a nice blog too!

Beautiful Father's day tribute. Your dad sounds like a great man.

Lori