Getting Personal

It wouldn’t take great powers of observation to realise that I’m being pretty generic here. I’ll hold my hands up. I’ve been deliberately avoiding giving too many specifics. In short, I’ve been hiding.

I’ve got my reasons, though I guess they may not seem very compelling to anyone else. I don’t want, or at least haven’t wanted up until this point, to bare myself for judgment from people who know me in my offline life. Yes, I worry too much about what other people think of me. And yes, even if they think this is junk, or a waste of time, I’ve got good reasons for doing it, which is what matters. But I guess I wanted to establish myself before giving identifying clues to people who could pick up on them.

Now, anonymity is stifling me.

And now, I have begun to give clues – narrowing the very generic ‘England’ down to the (only slightly) more specific ‘London’ and clues through the tag game, for example – that along with my name and age would probably be plenty enough to reveal me to anyone that knows me well, who happened to pass by.

So I guess now is time to get a little more personal. Honestly.

My name is Caro, I’m 26 years old, and I live in London. That much you know.

Caro is short for Caroline. I have a brother, who lives in San Francisco.

I told a small lie in the 'Tag'  post, in that I actually grew up in Kent, not London, and I have also lived in Plymouth, Devon. When I put that post together I wasn’t committed to coming clean, and that is a pretty specific combination of places. I hate lies, but I see this more as an omission, than an out and out lie. I hope you’ll forgive me.

I’m a qualified dentist, but I hope that you'll forgive me for that too! How I came to be a dentist is definitely a story for a whole other time! I don’t want to give you my full name, because people who know me recognising me is one thing, but I don’t particularly want my patients googling my name and reading me here. Believe me, some of them would, and for the most part I don’t actually want them to know that I have diabetes, because it isn’t necessary to our professional relationship.

That is about it for now, although more will almost certainly follow in the natural course of my posts.

Because I’m not hiding anymore.

And I’m not caring about being judged anymore either. I’m in this for me. The real me and anyone who cares to read me.

Comments

[Scott K. Johnson]

Hey Caro,

I would say that you do not have any obligation to share any more than you are comfortable with. That is one of the very nice things about these types of venues - you can be as anonymous as you want, and it doesn't take anything away from your stories or experiences.

So, I say - don't do more than you are comfortable with. We don't think any different of you (that means we love your blog just the same)!

PS. - I'm not ignoring your "tag" - just haven't written it up yet! Stay tuned!

[Caro]

Hi Scott,

Thank you.

My main reason for losing the anonymity is that I have things that I want to share over time that will identify me anyway. Feeling that I'm hiding has been making me feel sort of stifled, so I thought it easier just to be honest!

I'm looking forward to the tag!

[Kerri.]

You can make up a non de plume or fictionalize your hometown ... personally, your honesty about your feelings and fears is what keeps me reading.

And I plan on reading for a long time to come!

[Caro]

Thank you Kerri.

[Chrissie in Belgium]

Hi Caro,

I really understand where you are coming from concerning revealing too much. That is why I have not even dared open a blog. I am a TERRIBLE lier, so I do not even try. When you talk about WHY you do things lieng/ hiding the true facts makes it impossible to explain yourself. Being a diabetic for soon 45 years has made me very "tough"/bitchy/pain in the ass - should I go one? You have to stick up for yourself otherwise you will be squashed. So I sometimes cause a ruckus, make enemies. But I need to tell others to be careful about "expertise advice". A diabetic must get themselves educated and they have to rely on their own education, knowledge and experiences. Each diabetic is very different. I am small, take very small insulin doses and over-react to lots of medicine, so I am scared every time my toe nears a hospital...... I have too many bad experiences, but I have managed. So if I must speak the truth and the truth isn't always so nice, comfortable and pleasing, anonymity is great. But sooner or later all is revealed anyhow...... I get so scared that I will end up on some "doctor" black list of BAD patients. But I am NOT a bad patient. My HbA1c was last time 5.5. I love the insulin pump. I was told by a previous doctor it "really didn't help diabetics much"..... I swear by it now. I have had diabetes for soon 45 years. I got the pump only 2 years ago. So many years have gone by!